Words, from a mostly metrocentric perspective. See Metrocentricity for pictures.

05 February 2009

Things that could be part of some sort of series but aren't: Bus Stop Bingo

To pass the time while waiting for the bus, and test your own deeply ingrained sense of injustice against actual outcomes, mentally (if physically, you will need a dry-wipe marker to allow multiple plays on the bus stop panel, and possibly a stepladder) cross off the number of each bus which is not yours that calls at your stop during the time it takes for your bus to arrive. Once all but yours have been crossed off you have reasonable cause to feel aggrieved. And the gentle mental exercise involved in retaining the numbers in your head is beneficial to the grey matter.

Experts can factor in weighting for known variations in frequencies of all buses. For advanced players, award yourself further misery points for notyourbuses which pass in multiple during your waiting period. See also, buses grouped to call at another stop and passing yours, even buses going in the other direction!

You may also wish to test your empathy against the experiences of other passengers, shifting the focus from your own plight to that of those reliant on e.g. the 189, of which there are hardly any, or the 113, half of which turn at Portman Square: two minutes walk up the road but for all practical purposes at this stop, on the moon.

Also count vehicles which might get you where you're going if you were more desperate or didn't already have a bus pass or travelcard on your oyster so don't see why you should pay twice, ffs. Proper cabs (orange light on). Legit minicabs doing the 'Mr Smith'*. Datsuns driven by qat-chewing Somers Town psychotics providing innovative transport solutions for London's Vibrant Night-time Economy, rickshaw bikes providing third world solutions for etc.

Then include vehicles which do not carry (human) passengers: Ocado vans, Royal Mail vans, pizza delivery mopeds, Onyx rubbish lorries, Essex Taxis. Also, decommissioned Routemasters carrying wedding parties, George Michael looking for a quiet spot to park up for a spliff and snooze.

*"Mr Smith? Mr Smith, yeah? But you're going North London, yeah? Where you going? Call it fifteen, yeah?"

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