Maybe you know her

She's quite small, though sturdy. Often she bumps into things, just as often is bumped into. Sometimes she breaks things without meaning to and she holds her pint glass in both hands until she gets about half-way down it.

She has our full attention, because she tells these stories so well. This one's about the last time she got dumped. She says something like:

'...she puts on this big responsible voice and I think oh, here we go.'

And she makes a facial expression that I can only describe in words as that of a person who has no choice but to be slapped very hard across the face with a large wet haddock and is trying to prepare for it as best they can.

Which is hilarious there and then, we're all pissing ourselves, and then she makes more of her ex-girlfriend's voice, hangs her head like someone getting told off, it's so funny.

Then walking home it doesn't seem so funny, in fact it's bloody tragic. If it had just been a humourless whinge I'd have forgotten all about it, but after the falling about laughing it seems so unfair, this always getting knocked over in the playground.