Are you sitting comfortably?

Radio 4 doesn't get much more despicable than 'Money Box'.

It tries, with 'Brain of Britain' (you know that moral dilemma scenario in which the question is: 'If you could go back in time and assassinate Hitler, would you?' Well, Robert Robinson is alive now, and broadcasting now, and some questions just shouldn't be asked).

It tries very hard, with 'You and Yours' (a programme devised by the Confederation of British Industry to drive the work-free out of their homes and into factories, offices, schools, brothels and other places of labour just by its utter inanity).

But for sheer nauseation value the 'Money Box' formula can't be beaten, unless by more extreme strains of this cancer of the radio, 'Money Box Live', and recently 'Money Box Live Special'.

Oh, it's a fine idea in theory, advising the ordinary person about matters financial in language they can understand. It empowers and it enables, equipping the individual to do battle with Big Capitalism by evening up the knowledge imbalance.

But then, just listen to it. Caller after caller, venal grasping scum, the sodding lot of them, bleating their craven insecurities and tremulous greed. Take the other night for instance, here's 'Margaret in Droitwich':

'I have three ISAs: one cash, two mixed; buy-to-let properties in Bulgaria and Bromsgrove; a portfolio of investments in commodities... and some antiques.'

'And what is your question Margaret?'

'Oh, I don't have a question, I'm just a smug git who likes telling everyone about all my money. Moneeeee... moneeeeee...' Etc.

Okay, so I changed her name. And paraphrased a little. But otherwise, that's what it's like.

Maybe I should listen to the radio less.