When you eat no-one else does But you always wonder why

One of my colleagues has taken to bringing in soup. He makes it himself, which is all terribly laudable, etc. But sometimes I'm just not out of the door quickly enough when I hear the microwave oven bell ping.

It's that great menu oxymoron, The Delicious Vegetarian Alternative. In trying to make an interesting dish out of ingredients that are all flora and no fauna, desperate measures have been resorted to. Odd and ill-advised combinations of spices have been applied. The resulting concoction suggests to the nose nothing like that which is to be eaten and very much akin to something that has already been eaten and wisely and swiftly rejected by the stomach of its consumer. Let me state this plainly. It smells like last night's vomit, captured in a bowl on egress and reheated on full power for 90 seconds.

(Title: Kirsty MacColl - Innocence)